Physical Therapy
by KatieMatlinIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: It's not like she was expecting to dive in too deep with her ex-boyfriend. But she just can't resist, and now she's unable to get out of the water. Mature themes, but nothing explicit. Takes place after High Fidelity. Spaige.


Physical Therapy

By Degrassi-Doll

Spinner x Paige

**My first story! Well, I'm a new author here at FFN, and I am absolutely in love with **_**Degrassi**_**. Spinner x Paige, or Spaige, is my favorite pairing by far. I love the two of them together, and this is my take on what would have happened if, after the sex that Paige and Spinner in "High Fidelity" following the whole Darcy thing, a relationship had ensued. It's Paige's POV – enjoy!  
**

It's one in the morning, the lights are out, and I just had sex with my ex-boyfriend.

Spinner fell asleep shortly after the affair, giving me a gratuitous smile of satisfaction and then drifting off. I know he needed the sleep. He's been having a rough time. He's lying on the left side of the bed; his body is on its side, facing towards me, and I'm lying here on my back staring back and forth, from him to the ceiling back at him again. A small, sweet little snore emits from him, and I suppress a giggle. I don't want to wake him up. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.

I've seen him sleep before. We've never actually had sex throughout our past relationship, back in those glory days, but we've shared a bed on multiple occasions. No matter how I'd been feeling, no matter what life had decided to throw at me that day, I'd look over at his calm face and feel better. I think it's something I've taken for granted – that Spinner would always be around. It was always so nice to know that, despite whatever problems I was going through at any given time, Spinner would give me a laugh or compliment me. Or just exist, sleeping soundlessly; that worked, too. Sometimes, as he slept, his arm would be around me and he'd be holding me close. Other times, he'd be lying on his back and I'd rest my head against his shoulder or his chest. He'd known how much he meant to me, but I'd never told him the extent. That's probably my biggest regret to date.

Maybe that's why we broke up, in spite of it all.

I know that there were other circumstances. I did wreck his car, after all. That's quite a lot for a high school relationship to survive through; every kid gets excited about their first car, so much so that it's like a child to them. And, on his part, it really did break my heart when he was talking about Manny at the Dot. The fight he had with Craig over her completely crushed me, although I'd never tell him how much. I've never been Manny's biggest fan since then, and it completely shocked me how close she and Spin were getting. When I heard him talking so passionately about her, I had to end it, because my stupid, girl-power pride kicked in. I realized I'd lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. In the end, though, we were in love. And we broke up in spite of that.

We're both going through some really rough times in each of our relationships. I'm currently dating this girl, Alex. She's really funny and fun to be with, which is what attracted me to her in the first place. She's gorgeous, too. She doesn't get me as much as I'd want her to, though. My ambitious nature isn't something she can relate to, and it's led to a frustrating rift between us. Spin, on the other hand, is having real problems with Darcy, his girlfriend. Their relationship is filled with this bipolarity that I could never tolerate. Love, then hate, then love, then hate. I think they're back on "hate" right now. Maybe both of us met up together here somehow tonight because of our failing relationships. He came by, saw my looking at a yearbook, and we finally stopped on the page on which we had won the "Cutest Couple" award. When he said how much he'd love to go back to those days, I realized just how much I yearned for them, too. And that was when we kissed.

The kiss captured me, and not in just a physical way. My feelings for him, I realized then and there, had never totally left. Through Alex, through Matt, there was always this hole in those relationships, a hole that had been filled when I dated Spinner. I can't believe I'm still in love with him. After Matt (who turned out to be an asshole) and Alex (I don't even want to think about her), you'd think I'd prefer the single status for at least a little while. Relationships are so painful and complicated sometimes. Through it all, though, they're amazing things, and everyone needs them in their life at some point. It's just a matter of who you're in the relationship with. Spinner, lying here on his side next to me, has never looked so beautiful to me.

My thoughts drift unexpectedly from Spinner, so wonderful beside me, over to my rapist from a few years ago, Dean. The most petrifying, horrific moment in my life was the time when, innocently, I was hitting on Dean. I was getting really into him, but after I told him I'd had enough and wanted to go, he raped me. I testified against him in court and lost a year or so ago, and I still can't believe he's gone free. But I have to move on with my life, right? Anyway, I just realized that tonight is the first night I've had sex since the incident. What surprises me is that it didn't scare me, I didn't flinch at all, and I never once had the thought of déjà vu in relation to the Dean incident. I'm proud of myself for not letting the incident totally get to me, even though I feel that it may have if it were with anyone but Spin tonight.

Maybe I'm a little bit selfish for going back to him after he hurt Darcy so much. I mean, I'd hate any girl who slept with my "boyfriend" while I was still dating him. I wouldn't be surprised if Darcy ends up hating me if she ever finds out about this. But Spinner is different. I don't know if I could have resisted if I've tried. For about a year, I've been majorly stressed and sad all because of his presence, or lack thereof, in my life. It's been hard. We've always had this sort of chemistry; for someone like me, who doesn't believe in that kind of thing, that's saying a lot. Soul mates, destiny, none of that stuff is real to me. This moment, though, lying in bed next to a sleeping Spinner, is real. And it's freaking amazing.

I catch myself staring at his face once more. To my surprise, his eyes begin to slowly flutter open, meeting mine. He smiles.

"Still awake, there, Paige?"

I grin. "What are you doing up, sleepyhead?"

"Not sure, actually."

When he says this, I feel tense. I can tell that he doesn't quite know what to say, and I know that I don't, either. Neither of us have any words. Should there be words at all?

Spinner decides that, yes, there should be. He suddenly looks much more awake. "We didn't say much, you know. We got right to the sex. We went to sleep. We didn't talk. We used to, Paige, remember?"

"What?" I say, dumbly.

"Back when we were together, you know? I miss that. And we didn't even really say much earlier. Obviously, you're having problems with Alex, and I'm having problems with Darcy. And we both just assumed that having sex with each other was the answer?"

I'm confused. "Spinner, what are you trying to say?"

He seems to take my misunderstanding the wrong way. "Nothing."

A brief moment of nervous silence passes, neither of us daring to say more. Finally, before I can control it, my impulsive side takes a hold of me.

"You really hurt me when you were fighting over Manny, you know."

It's a few moments before he speaks again, and it's obvious that he's not sure how to form his sentence. "I'm sorry," he says, kind of awkwardly.

"It wasn't so much that you were getting close to her, Spin. You know I wouldn't have minded who you were friends with. But it really stung to see you getting so defensive when you had me. I think that's understandable."

"It is, Paige. But you don't think I know I made a mistake? Chasing after slutty Manny when I was dating you? And you hurt me, too. I loved you."

Another short moment. Then, I say, "As in the past tense?"

Spinner doesn't speak.

I realize I'd probably gone too far. "I'm really sorry about Darcy, hon."

"It's fine. Same about you and Alex."

"No big deal."

Another short moment passes. Both of us avoid eye contact. And, naturally, I wonder where the end of the night will bring us. Maybe we'll both remain silent until we each fall back asleep, then wake up in the morning and head over to school. Maybe I'll end up confessing to him how much I care about him, and he'll say the same. Maybe, if that same setup happens, he'll say that he's sorry but he doesn't feel the same and is still holding out for Darcy. There are too many possibilities for comfort, and half of me just wants to go to sleep. The other half is trying to muster up the courage to say something else to him, anything else, just to diffuse this tension. I want us to continue to be friends, or at the very least just be able to hold civil conversation together. It's not like we've spoken or seen each other much since the whole event in which we broke up.

"Are you okay, Paige?"

His question catches me off-guard. "What?"

"I asked if you were okay."

I sigh. "Yeah. I mean, Alex is being a bitch. It's fine. The whole thing with the movie has been hard, too, but it's whatever. I'm thrilled to be going to Banting, yeah, but I just don't really _feel_ right.

"I…yeah. I know what you mean. I'm sorry about that. But I know how you feel, Paige, I really do. I'm going through hell with Darce right now, too. Maybe…well, maybe I just should break up with her sooner rather than later. I don't know how much more of her prude "purity" garbage I can take. There's too much sugar there for my taste."

For once, I genuinely laugh. His metaphor reminds me of all of the silly, quirky things he'd say back when we were dating. Those things that lifted my spirits a little bit when they were low. "Too much sugar, huh? Not enough spice?"

He smirks. "Not quite enough spice. But not too much, though. Then we're in Manny territory."

"You're trying to find a balance, then."

He nods. "Yeah, I guess so. And…really, Paige, the only person who has any kind of balance is you."

For what seems like the umpteenth time that night, I'm lost for words. The only comment I can make, which I hope sounds somewhat cute, is, "I guess I'm sugar, spice, and everything nice."

"You are nice," Spin says.

I smile. "Yeah. So are you."

"We were nice once, too. The two of us."

I sigh. "Again with the past tense, honeybee?"

It's his turn to retort. "Again with the nicknames, my lady?"

"Again with the-"

And before I can say anything further, not that I even knew what words were going to escape, he kisses me. It's sweet and captivating and gentle, and it reminds me so, so much of the first time we kissed back when we were dating. It's warm and perfect and nice, and it's not fueled by some physical desire. That's not what me and Spinner are, or ever were, about. The first time we started dating, it was after he comforted me after my rape episode. How much further from "physical desire" can you get? Still, though, the sex with Spin felt nice. But nothing about the sex could even compare to this sweet, nostalgic kiss that he's still leaving on my lips.

"Again with the relationship, how about," Spinner comments. It's not as much of a question, I don't think, as it is a statement, or a request.

I stare, dumbfounded, trying to process if he's implying what I think he is.

"Paige, you really need to use your words."

"Maybe you should use yours a bit more wisely, babe."

"Maybe you should think about what I'm trying to say, "babe," and realize that I'm trying to ask you out again."

"Maybe you should shut up and kiss me again."

The two of us, again, lock our lips in a kiss that I can only describe as the kind of kiss that every girl anticipates her first to be like. Again, it was nothing like the sex. The sex may have reignited the flame, but this kiss was the burning.

"This time," he says, "I won't look at any other girls."

"And this time," I say, "I won't destroy your car."

"It's a deal."

Neither of us say anything further. It's understood, naturally, between us that we shouldn't. We just enjoy the moment, falling back to sleep in each other's arms. It's something we haven't done in what seems like forever, and the feeling of rediscovering each other is amazing. Maybe, in the end, Darcy and he were just never going to see eye to eye, and neither were me and Alex. After tonight, there is still going to be a lot of stuff to sort out with the two of them. How are Spinner and I going to resolve the issues with Darcy and Alex? What will the rest of the school say? Either way, it's best that I don't think about that right now. All that matters is that I'm back with my honeybee, back where I've wanted to be for a very, very long time.

It's one-thirty in the morning, the lights are out, and I just kissed my boyfriend.

**Whoop! Me gusta **_**Degrassi**_**. I really hope you liked the story. If you can spare a review, it would be much appreciated! I'm wondering if the story is a little unrealistic in the style (like, I'm wondering if Paige would really speak like that.) Please let me know! Thank you, and look out for more!**


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